Lest I forget.

Favorite moments from today....

-Emyri with no forewarning nor hesitation walking straight up to the pulpit and retelling her talk from the Primary program for her testimony during testimony meeting: )

-The content and spirited look on her face as she walked back. priceless.

-Getting to sit by Chad during Gospel Doctrines class for the first time in a year. I just got released from my Primary calling. Loved being able to razz him, poke him when needed, and run thoughts past him. Love that kid.

-Sitting back and watching Brin's hyper self after church.

Good night that girl was on one and it was good stuff: ) I should have been filming. She's into cool head gestures, talking in funny slurred hick accents, and saying things like, "rock and roll!", "big daddy", and "tooter-ma-goots".

(The latter being said almost continually in response to anything. It's her catch phrase. In fact, when she randomly called out "tooter-ma-goots" during dinner at Wingers the other night, Em rolled her eyes and blandly said, "Knew that was coming." We do Brin; know it's coming. And we somehow still think it's hilarious every.time. And the best part is you do too.)

-family dog pile on dad turned into "pretend we're on a mountain".

-Baby brother's continual kicking fest on my ribs all day long.

It's no 60 minute spa massage, but I love knowing he's there, moving, living.....working on his field goal kicking.

-Walking in the front door, home from church, to the smell of my very first crock pot roast cooking away.

mmm,mmm...

Mom, it smelled like Sunday: )

-Tonight, eating a grapefruit with sugar sprinkled on top; just the way my old friend Frank would make them for me when I was little and sitting across from him on his rickety two person table.

Loved every bite.

Can't get enough grapefruit nor the memories: )

-Seeing my two girls take a quick break from playing to cuddle on the couch with their daddy while he rested; smiling and thinking to myself, "Their first love really is their daddy."

This.....

Favorite moments from the last few days....

-Hearing the girls laugh uncontrollably from the other room as they rough housed, climbed on each other, and were thrown about by 'daddy'. They didn't get to see him all day. Pretty sure they missed him: )

Pretty sure I missed him too.

-Brinley consoling Emyri when she was scared in bed tonight. Brin kept patting her on the back and looking her in the face while saying, "But Sisser, Brinley's here." All of this followed by kisses on the hand and cheek.

-The other day Brin hurt her arm and was crying. Em has a hard time when she knows her little sister is hurting. While Chad and I were comforting Brin, Emyri went down stairs and got Brin her favorite puppy and care bear....then a soft blanky...and then the kindle fire: ) She knows how to make a little sister feel ALL better: )

-Me: "Brin, do you love Sisser (Emyri)?"

-Brin: "She's my best friend."

I look at these two little girls and am amazed by the love they have for each other. Of course they don't get along all the time, and sometimes they bug the bu-jeebees out of each other, but when it all comes down to it, they love each with a depth and a fierceness that is incredible to be a beholder of.

I feel so blessed that Chad and I were able to bring them together in this life, to be sisters forever.

So blessed that I get to be their momma: )

Seriously love their guts.

I know it's late.....like 12:18 am too late. But I said there would be some "gems" from the binder today (technically yesterday) and by golly I need to stick to my word more this year...so here are a quick few.

Chad and I on his high school graduation night: )

The next couple need some background. Chad thought it was hilarious to paint me random water color pictures to give me a taste of his fine art skills.

Robert...he's my dad.

And Big Duck.....well, he's a big duck.

I'm sure this is one I got with my Christmas presents the year before he left on his mission.

Check out the tiny arms and boots....two of many special features with this Big Guy: )

And this is the card Chad gave me right before he headed out for his mission to Mexico.

Fitting right: )

What Once Was Lost....

2012? Seriously. Time has this incredible way of speeding up. It's insane and amazing all at once to take a step back and realize where you're at and remember from where you've come.

Can I just say I love this life and it's simultaneously inching yet rapid way of changing us.

I got the chance to step back and realize and remember when an aching prayer I've been praying for years was answered last night.

When Chad left on his mission I started keeping all of his letters and pictures and my own thoughts and journal entries in a binder. A plain old green binder. And that binder got so full I started filling a plain old black binder.

I know those things may not seem life shatteringly significant, but for me, we're talking about precious, precious stuff here people.

Those binders started me, and really us, in one place and ended us in another. From first page to last carried a story and a process of a thousand defining moments, life altering realizations, changes, soul searching experiences.

A huge record of our love, the process of it's unfolding, and who we've become were held in those two binders.

See what I'm saying?

Precious stuff.

It wasn't until around two years of marriage and six moves that I realized those binders were missing. I looked everywhere....through all of our storage, my family's storage, Chad's family's storage, under beds, in closest, garages, anywhere I could think of that might be hiding them.

No such luck.

Those two binders were one of those things that I've lost that actually brought me physical heartache to think about.

I've prayed about finding them many times over the years, but it wasn't until a few months ago that I randomly thought of them again, felt the twinge of wishing I had them back, and prayed more pointedly,

"Heavenly Father, I know you are able to know where those binders are. I know they are not that big of a deal....(By now I'm feeling somewhat like a little kid who has lost their favorite blankey and can't stop crying)....and I know life will go on without them, but to me and to Chad and I, they mean a lot......if they are anywhere on this planet in a form that I can have them (I'm picturing them lying under layers of garbage in some landfill somewhere) can you please lead me to them? Can you please bring them back to me."

And that was that. I prayed and then forgot about that simple prayer.....that was until a few nights ago when we met Chad's family at a restaurant over the holidays and his sister Katie said, "Oh Vandi, I was going through some boxes that I thought were mine and found these two binders. They looked like they were filled with letters from Chad's mission. I thought I'd tell you about them in case you wanted them."

Say WHAT?!

I couldn't believe it.

I am not a crier, but I felt like I might have myself a happy cry. right there in the restaurant.

I'm sure she thought I was a little crazy with my instantly embracing her and excited overreaction.

But I couldn't help hugging her for finding what I thought was long lost.

And then I suddenly remembered that little prayer....

along with this feeling;

a gentle "hug" and "smile" and "just wanted you to remember I love you"

from the One who brought them back to me.

Chad and I have been pouring over their pages today. Smiling, laughing, feeling, remembering.

It's been nine years since that time in our lives. A time with so many questions, uncertainties, so much to learn, so much to discover, so much ahead of us.

We have grown so much in those nine years.

We and our lives and our love and our experiences together have gained so much; three of the greatest being two amazing little girls and one much anticipated and precious little boy.

We were just two little kids, best friends, and all we knew was that Heavenly Father had brought us to our friendship and we cared about each other and had helped and healed each other more than we could say.

I can't thank Heavenly Father enough for bringing those binders back to me.

I hope someday they will mean something to our kids; tell a precious story more intricate than we could describe to them.

Life is amazing.

Especially when we choose to make it that way.

I'm so thankful for all the experiences I have had that have brought me to this time and place in my life. My life is filled to the brim with love and I am given more than I have ever deserved.

To me, Chad really is proof of that.

2012 will be a huge year of change for us; another chapter in our adventure together.

It's exciting and terrifying all at once to wonder where we will be by the end of this year, but I will embrace the curves and turns....

because isn't it all really just amazing, this experience of life.

I think so.

p.s. some "gems" from the binders to come tomorrow.....

It's a......

So I found this cool idea online one day when I was searching for baby shower games for a party I was helping host.

This couple instead of finding out what they were having at their ultra sound had the doctor seal a picture of the baby's gender in an envelope.

The couple gave the envelope to one of their friends who then made them a cake with either pink frosting or blue frosting inside depending on the gender of the baby.

Then they had a get together to reveal the gender of the baby to themselves as well as their friends and family by cutting the cake: )

I was just barely pregnant and thought that would be a pretty awesome way to find out and a cool way to get to share the moment with everyone.

Now I just had to convince Chad.

Well, it took a while (he can't handle waiting for surprises!) but I convinced him and the BIG DAY arrived.

And it was AWESOME!

We were so anxious and excited all day long, and having to wait a little made it that much more exciting. Although after the ultra sound today, Chad could barely contain himself having to wait any longer to find out. : )

We got together with some friends for dinner and CAKE this evening. And it was even more exciting because our friends Rachelle and Nathan (who are expecting the same day we are) were also revealing what they were having.

It was excitement x 2!

I wish somehow all of our friends and family could have been with us tonight to share in the moment. Even just the size of our apartment made it impossible to invite everyone we would have loved to have. But know we miss and love you all and hope doing it this way will at least let you be a part of our moment, even if it is from afar: )

So here is our awesome news....in digitally uploaded fashion.

Enjoy!

Oh, and watch the look on Chad's face. He was so surprised!

See, I knew it'd be worth the wait to catch that face on camera: )

(love the classy pose the thumbnail caught me in here.....sheesh)

Oh, and if you don't want to spoil the surprise, watch the vid before scrolling down : )

Our Dr. was pretty humored by our little plan....especially after he knew how anxious Chad was to find out.

He even lovingly titled our baby's man-child parts "Honky Tonker"

Needless to say......it's been one of those good, good days: )

Untitled by Reid Garnett

In attempts to teach some work ethics and the power of choice and consequences around this joint, I've started having the girls clean there room in the mornings before they can go outside to play.

It's gone pretty well, but this morning has been a different story.

They are currently IN THEIR ROOM UNTIL IT'S CLEAN.

And although they have pulled the mattress off of Em's bed and about every toy out of the closet and are presently laughing their heads off while practicing their aerobatics...

I've chosen to be cool as a cucumber.

No power struggles today. I know some natural consequences like

rumbly, hungry tummies or a neighbor friend knocking on the door wanting to play will eventually kick their motivation into gear.

Anywho, different post for a different day.

But, before the aerobatics began and I'd first asked the girls to clean there room, Em kept saying, "Mom....you've gotta help us! We can't do this ourselves!"

And I found myself saying, "Em, I am helping you. I'm helping you to help yourself."

And after sending her disappointed self back into her room with some, 'I know you can do it's' and 'I believe in you's' knowing she probably wouldn't understand the lesson for years to come, I continued my own chores for the day when these thoughts started rumbling around inside.....

You know it's just like Heavenly Father.

We cry out in despair,

'You've gotta help us! We can't do this on our own!'

And although I have had many of those kinds of prayers answered in help beyond my own....

sometimes He answers by patting us on the back and sending us back out into the fight.

~But oh the love in those pats.~

We say, 'We want it easy! We don't want to have to reach and stretch outside ourselves. We don't want to have to fight and sweat and labor for the answers.'

But our Heavenly Father knows all we can become.

He knows how far we can stretch and reach and grow.

He knows.

And because our infant eyes don't see that far yet....

He will rarely go easy on us.

Until one day we do see.

And we thank Him and thank Him and thank Him.

I didn't realize I'd be so nervous.

But my hands were shaking when I filled out the paper work to get this little gem....

And I know you cannot even tell what's there...I barely could either.

But right in the middle was this little, tiny, fluttering AMAZING heartbeat.

And we couldn't be happier.

Dr. Prince helped me through my ectopic pregnancy and miscarriage.

The first thing he said to Chad and I when he walked in the room...

"I've been happy for you guys all day since I saw your name on the schedule this morning."

Good, good Doctor: )

And oh how I wished we'd filmed the moment we told the girls about their new baby sibling.

It was priceless.

First denial, "Nu-uh!"

Then, "Are you serious?"

Followed by little girl screams of joy and lots of jumping around!

We had them redo it for the camera, but they couldn't hide the excitement on their faces to make it actually look authentic.

Can it be March yet?

Because I cannot wait to see the look on their faces when they actually get to meet baby for the first time.

Now, that will be one sweet day.