Wow. It's been a while. We had such a fun thanksgiving with Chad's family, partied hard, came back to a week of planning our ward Christmas party, and finally I'm getting a minute to sit down and write again.
I didn't mean to leave anyone hanging, but Ems is totally back to normal running around like the crazy, awesome four year old she is. So all is well: )
I've been meaning to post this for a while now. At Chad's dad's funeral, He got the chance to read a letter he'd written to his dad. On our drive home right after we'd gotten the news of his dad's death, Chad told me he didn't feel like he could speak at the funeral if he was asked to. Too much raw emotion, too difficult. But as the next few days past, the desire to say something, to be able to share his thoughts and feelings somehow, grew, and the day before the funeral he decided that he wanted to stand and read his letter to his dad himself. He was able to read his brother Todd's and sister Aleesha's letters too; which I know was neat for him.
The ending of his letter was strongly influenced from the talk that my teacher Brother Bingham gave at his daughter Emily's funeral. Emily was my age and died in a car crash in front of their house right before she graduated high school. I never got the chance to meet Emily in this life, but through some amazing and special circumstances ( a story for another day), I was able to get to know her and Brother Bingham; and my life has been forever changed for the better. Chad wanted to listen to Brother Bingham's talk on that long ride home to SV after hearing the news. It helped us both to remember some very important things and reached us again in an even more poignant and powerful way that day.
It broke my heart to watch Chad read his letter over the pulpit, but he did such a great job. I'm sure his dad heard every word and loved him all the more for it. : )
As I think back on my childhood I feel a deep feeling of gratitude for the example you gave of loving the simple things in life. What other dad would allow 15 immature 8th grade boys to have an all night party in the barn. What other dad would allow their son to start driving when they were 14. What other dad had the same friends as their sons. You had so many attributes that I will follow and live in my own life and with my own children. You were known for having a simple yet straightforward attitude toward life. If you felt like something should get done, you did it.
I remember when me and my friend Dave Hokanson worked with you for Maverik one summer and we were on a long trip to Thermopolis, Wyoming. We were playing a little hand held game of Who Wants To Be A Millionaire. It was no surprise that you knew every answer to every question. You always were the trivia king. But soon the game started to malfunction. IT would give the wrong choices for the wrong question and you knew it. Well, it kept messing up and you and Dave joked by saying if it messed up one more time it was going out the window. Well, it messed up again and without hesitation Dave threw it out the window. We all had a good laugh about it but then you pulled the truck over, turned around, and drove to where it was thrown and made Dane and I look for the game because you enjoyed it so much. We didn't find it, but as soon as you found the nearest Wal-Mart you went in and bought the deluxe edition. You wanted something and you got it done.
Another memory I have is of you taking the girls into your arms and showing them the world you loved. You'd scoop them up in your arms and say, "Wanna got walkin'?" You would take them to see the pond, the flowers, the bugs, and every other wonder that can be seen. Now, I like to think and picture in my mind your Savior, whom you loved and served, has taken you into His arms and is showing you the wonders of the world in which you are now.
Another thing I am grateful to you for is if you felt the whisperings of the Spirit, you followed it. And because of that you saved my life. Twenty four years ago I fell into a swimming pool without anyone knowing and from what you've told me the Spirit whispered to you as to where to look for me. You told me you didn't hesitate and you went straight to the pool and found me floating in the water. You saved me, Dad. And you've continued to save me not only physically, but spiritually as well. There have been so many things and experiences in your life that could have pushed you away from the Savior and the gospel but you stood your ground and at the end of the day and the end of your life you were at His side.
I miss you Dad. When I heard the news of your death I cried and wished to have just one last summer with you. One last summer to just sit by your side and feel the love you had for me. The day you died, the weather matched my soul, cloudy, dark, and hopeless. But when the morning came the light of the sun filled my window and my heart. And now, though I know there is no way around this sorrow, but through it, I also know that when the morning comes there will be the Light.
Elder Wirthlin explains it well: "Even though the tasks of life become heavy, and although sorrow thrusts a drooping burden upon us, the light that emanates from our Savior beckons us on, undismayed."
Dad, I want you to know that I WILL be on the Lord's side. I won't let your death turn me away from the truths you held onto. I will become a better person because of this. I will be a better dad, a better husband, a better disciple of Christ. More like Him. Hard times have and will continue to come, but bloody me, beat me, knock me down, at the end of the day, though I may not be standing by the Savior, I will be at His feet.
I look forward to seeing you again, and I KNOW that I will.
I love you, Dad
Chad
